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bouncingmuffin
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Name: ???
Interests: music, ADHD, ninjas, sunglasses, spooning, lizards, weapons of mass destruction, lip gloss, Star Wars
Expertise: silly string, silly putty, silly songs with larry, other silly stuff, excuses, taking over the world, arguing, piracy, sleeping, and running around in circles
Occupation: Ruler of the Universe
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  guitarchick818
Member Since:
8/14/2004
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| So I'm supposed to be working, but the dark cloud finally lifted. For the first time in quite a while, I feel like I have clarity. As life in general goes, that is. And it's much preferred to artificial calm brought on by nicotine or temporary relief by escaping for a while with friends. I truly don't know where this is coming from, though. But I really don't like my new retreating thing. I used to blog a lot when I was upset about life, and I think that's partly because it helped me work through things in my head, it forced me to think about them, but at the same time provided a distraction, since I knew I was writing for the public eye and thus everything had to be screened. I'm bad at talking about things, and I don't like to be seen. I feel very uncomfortable when people see the real me. And when they see me, metaphysically naked, when they see my scars and imperfections and accept me anyway, I don't know what to do with that. I don't understand their acceptance, and so it almost doesn't seem real to me; I don't know what to do with it. This is a difficult thing to solve, because it involves not only believing that people can be good and allowing oneself to be loved by someone, but in general, being comfortable enough to reveal oneself without needing the acceptance of others, and in order to do that, there has to be an anchor somewhere. Walls are not a good anchor, and hiding never promotes healing. Not to mention connection...something essential, and something that can only result from vulnerability. Which is very hard for us to do as humans. God is missing. I need to bring him in somehow. No, I need to bring everything else to him. He is the anchor. That is the answer. Easier said than done.
Hope. If it slips away, we are left with an empty shell of reality; essentially nothing. Hope equals life. And hope is revived by love. Love begins with and must always maintain truth. Pure, unadulterated truth.
Truth, love, and hope. Veritas, amor, spes. Aletheia, agape, elpida. I like dead languages. I shall revive them (with truth, love, and hope)!
We're relational. We need each other. I want to love and be loved. To know love is to know God.
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| Arrested Development is freaking hilarious. Who invented this show?
The $1 bread at Albertsons is freaking amazing. I could live off this stuff. Seriously. It is times like this that being a starving college student really isn't so bad. Because the bread is the most delicious thing ever, and it's cheap.
Ha, I made Eric get facebook. Or tricked, if you prefer.  I rock at this game.
I think all video games should involve Star Wars and Legos. I really want to play this game I saw two days ago, because it's a Star Wars Lego game, and I believe it is impossible to combine those two things and go wrong. At all. I need the Star Wars Lego game! I need it now.
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| I love writing pull questions all night long. At least pull questions are at least a million times better than normal papers. I heart Torrey, even though it involves work. It's purgatory, not hell, so it's okay. Read the following and you will understand what I mean by that...
Most people know and agree that almost anything worth having is hard to attain, and most anything worth achieving takes a lot of hard work. This is a principle that all people must realize and put into practice if they hope to get anywhere worthwhile in life, and remembering it when the going gets tough is a good way to keep things in perspective and keep from quitting. Unfortunately, many people go to the other extreme and take up the belief that we shouldn't ever have any fun in life, because we should be so busy working in an attempt to better ourselves. We try to tell ourselves, and our children, that this is the way we are supposed to live our lives, and all the hard work will pay off in the end, but it wears us down. This is because, while all good rewards are the fruit of hard work, not all hard work will necessarily lead to such a harvest. It is essential that we figure out how to tell the difference.
Purgatory and Hell are incredibly similar, but there is an obviously large difference between the two. In Purgatory, the punishments perfectly fit the crimes, because they have a very clear purpose--to purge the sinner of such-and-such sinful habit, in order to prepare his or her soul for living in paradise. In Hell, on the other hand, the punishments are usually vaguely associated with the crimes through some obscure connection, but that doesn't matter so much because the sinners never make any progress through being punished; they are being punished for the sake of punishment, and that is never going to change. In Purgatory, there is a clear sense of purpose in the goal of purging one's soul of its sinful desires and imperfections, and progress is being made towards that goal. The progress may be a long and painful process and at times it may be very slight, but it is always there; whereas in Hell, no progress is ever made because there is no ultimate end to work towards. Things remain stagnant, and the souls there suffer through pain for the sake of pain itself. In Purgatory, therefore, there is hope, which keeps you going, whereas in Hell there is none.
Therefore, the way to distinguish between whether we are going through a worthwhile, abeit hard, process leading to self-betterment or just putting ourselves through Hell for no apparent reason, would be to identify the goal we are trying to achieve through this process, and to recognize the progress we have already made and are making towards this end. It will become quite clear, then, whether we are in fact in Purgatory or merely stuck in Hell.
© Heather, 2006
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